An enduring love story

Photo courtesy of "Singapore Democrats".

I once told a group of 120 college students in America that I look upon MM. Lee Kuan Yew as my hero. I was delivering a speech about Singapore, and how Singapore came to be a prosperous country - more so than the United States, in a span of a few decades - in the hand of our founding father and first prime minister Lee Kuan Yew.

And now, not only do I look upon him as a hero, I see him as a real man - a man who loves his wife dearly and he loves her so till her last day. On Oct 2, his wife Mdm Kwa Geok Choo died at the age of 89. I think she has lived a wonderful life. Many of us see her as a bright student, a successful lawyer, a nurturing mother and a caring grandmother. But to me, I see her as someone who is deeply loved by her husband. Honestly, how many women can beat that? Especially in our society when divorce rate and marriage infidelity are going up at an accelerating rate.

I read about the love story of MM Lee and his wife and am immensely touched by it. They got secretly married in London while studying there, and they got married again (this time with their parents' consent) when they got back to Singapore. Mrs Lee was the supportive wife, the great woman who stood behind Mr Lee while he was reshaping Singapore.

I remember, when she got a stroke while traveling abroad some years ago, MM Lee shed tears. It was the second time he ever shed tears in public. The first was when Singapore was expelled from Malaya in 1965 (years before I was born). MM Lee cried publicly because he couldn't bear the thought of Singapore being on its own - he thought that Singapore would be doomed without Malaysia. But I'm glad he proved himself and everyone wrong. Not only was Singapore able to make it on its own, it became so much more successful than Malaysia. MM Lee did us proud. That's because he loves Singapore, as much as he loves his wife.

In a recent interview with a New York Times reporter, MM Lee said that the stress of his wife’s illness is harder on him than stresses he faced for years in the political arena. And that....his life has been darkened by the illness of his wife in these final years.....

To me, MM Lee is a good example of what a great man is. He loves Singapore, he achieved success for Singapore. He loves his wife deeply and to her last day, and he is loved deeply in return.

I have no respect for men who achieved great career success but lives a frivolous life with women - such as the New York governor who used prostitutes and the American president who is famous for doing that (hem hem, you know, I know) while at office.

In spite of great success, one is nothing unless you know how to love somebody deeply. I'm not trying to be a crusader here, but simply air my own view point. Modern people give up too quickly and too easily, especially in our Internet society. I've seen relationships and even marriages broken up because of long distance. I've seen men who claim they love their girlfriends but cheated on them with an eye closed. I've seen couples split up because they no longer see eye to eye. Its a disappointing world. I am disillusioned in this self-gain society where people love too easily but do not mean it.

MM Lee's love for his wife is one of those stories that gives me hope. I want to be like MM Lee - who fear nothing and is not afraid to love.

Some dissident citizen, out of spite, posted this remark on "The Temasek Review" website. (The dumb thing is, the website has been down for 5 hours since I last checked.) But this dissident citizen was calling MM Lee as someone who seeks to be feared rather than loved.

Hello, what's wrong with that? I mean, you can't seek to be loved by EVERYONE. Unless you are a clown. Isn't it enough that he is deeply loved by his wife, his lifelong partner? What more do you want than being loved by one person who matters most to you?

I am someone who could give up everything to achieve my dream. And I already did that. By leaving behind my comfortable life in Singapore and five-figure savings to do what I like to do in the U.S. Most of my dreams have been fulfilled so far, and I am contented with my life. But ultimately, there will come a day when I give myself up for The One. Because life will not be meaningful without having loved and being loved deeply by that person.

With this - I paid my respect to the Great Mrs Lee for having lived such a wonderful life. And I hope MM Lee will find strength to carry on, like what he told the reporters:

"I cannot choose how I'm going to go. I just carry on my life and that's that. If you start thinking about it, you will go downhill. Every day is a bonus, so let's carry on," Lee said.

MM Lee, please take good care. You know in your heart that you have lived a great life. You have done Singapore proud, and you have been a tremendously good husband to your wife. And with this, you shall go on.

My ugly duckling days

If you are familiar with Hans Christian Andersen's "The ugly duckling", you probably would find my story stale. But I can identify myself with the ugly duckling in the story who later turned into a swan.

When I was a little girl, I wasn't pretty at all. Relatives made fun of me. They called me a 'hairy monkey'. I was even aware of my own awkwardness. These days, whenever my family took out my childhood photos, they had a good laugh because I was always frowning and scowling at the camera. When I told Dave I was an ugly kid, he said: "I cannot imagine you ever being ugly." But that was how it was. The fact is, I didn't become good looking until I became a teenager. Talk about late bloomers!

When I was 5 years old, I stood in front of the mirror every day, wishing I would one day turn into a pretty girl. Back then, I heard the story of "an ugly duckling". How I wished I would turn into a 'swan' too. For a 5-year-old girl, I sure was vain but I had a dream.

Be careful of what you wish for. There is power in dreams.

I didn't know how it happened, but my face began to change from the age of 9. Bit by bit. The shape and size of my eyes, the shape of my forehead, the structure of my face--they all changed. When I was 12 years old, I began to look very different. And at 13, when I was attending middle school, for the first time in my life, classmates told me I was "one of the prettiest girls in class". To be called good looking, this would never happen to me in elementary school. That would be almost - impossible. But since then, I began to live the life of a pretty girl.

I often feel I have lived in two different worlds. The world of a plain looking girl and the world of a pretty girl. I'm lucky because I don't have to undergo plastic surgery to experience this. Well, probably God was my plastic surgeon, lol. I was the same person inside, but I receive different treatment now compared to what it was in the past. How often was I being ignored as a plain looking 5-year-old? Even when I cried, I got very little affection or sympathy from my mom's friends. Strangers would never take a second glance at me. I was as invisible as the wall behind me.

When I became a pretty girl, things changed so drastically. People are nice to me. Strangers smile at me. Even the old lady at the cake store is smitten with me, my best friend told me. She was also the one who 'complained' that the same doctor we went to, gave me free product samples, whereas in her case, he did not. The list goes on. The truth is, people treat you better if you are good looking. Also, needless to mention, men chase pretty women and not ugly ones.

If you dare say that looks are not important and that nobody cares how you look, then I'm telling you that you're really an idiot.

I guess, due to my 'unusual' childhood and how things had changed for me, I began to believe in my dreams. It was also in middle school that I accepted the Lord in my life. I began to have faith that whatever I longed for in life, I could get it......as long as I am determined to pursue it. And I have come a long way since.

When I was 24 years old and just gotten a job out of college, I made a pact with myself that I would come to the US to pursue further studies and to become a journalist. I never know how I could do it. At 24 years old, I was slapped with my college tuition loan. I had to repay it before I could start saving for my post-graduate studies in the US. I worked and saved very hard. But to do a master's degree in the US, I need to have at least US$45,000 in my bank statement. It probably would not work for me if a series of events didn't occur in a perfect order. These are what happened:

In January 2007, when my uncle's company became enlisted in public shares, we invested some stock money in it. In a quick turnaround, I made S$11,000. Although I still didn't have enough money for graduate school, that spurred me to apply to graduate schools in the US.

In December 2007, I learnt that I was awarded a 4-months bonus from my company. That added a five figure to my saving portfolio. Hoho.

In early 2008, suddenly, the USD dropped an awful LOT against our Sing dollar. So much so that I gained a few thousand dollars after converting my money to USD!

Suddenly, I find that I had enough money to study and live in the US for at least a year. Yippee!

So that was how I came to the US and completed my master's degree with absolutely no loan or help from anyone. It was a dream come true. But still, one step away from my dream of being a journalist. It was indeed a big step away.

Of course, getting a job - and of all jobs - in journalism, was almost impossible during this US recession period. Ask every professor in my school, they will tell you that its better to go into communications or PR if you need to have a job. Indeed, the media industry in the US has been badly hit by the crisis. I know you would say that all industries are badly hit. But newspapers, at the same time, is going through a decline due to the Internet. So journalism is twice hit, by the Internet and the crisis, if you ask me.

As if the crisis is not enough to work against me, the fact that I'm not a citizen or green card holder means that not only am I competing with Americans for jobs, but that I require work sponsorship from the company - works against me really bad.

For months, I was disheartened. It was a very difficult period for me. But thank God, when I was in Washington D.C, I had Jennifer and Dave by my side to support me and give me encouragement.

Suddenly, I landed a reporter job with a newspaper in New York City. I never thought that would happen to me - especially in New York, but it was exactly what happened. The truth is, I wasn't even actively looking for a reporter position although that was my heart's true desire. I was spending all my time and effort in looking for a communications or PR job because that was the advice given by my kind professors.

So in the end, I got my heart's desire. I realized my dream without having the means to achieving it. All I did was to dream it, and to follow my dream. It just happened naturally. Just like what God did to my childhood face, lol.

The moral of my story is -- believe in the power of your dreams. Very often, they will happen for you, not because you know how to achieve them, but because some 'magnificent being' up there has the ability to change world events and propel you to achieve that dream of yours. That 'magnificent being' for me, is God.

In my heart, I'll always love that "Ugly Duckling" in me because it has given me Hope that I can transform myself to be a better person.

Yet another journey begins for me. I'm now a journalist. One day, I would become a best-selling book author. I know it would happen. Someday.

My dreams do not lie

Last night, I had a most beautiful dream. In my dream, you were with me. Hand-in-hand, we were touring around the city. The city appears to be Singapore. I seem to have gone back in time to my childhood place....it was my beloved grandparents' home. It was a beautiful house in a really nice suburbs. It was also the house where I had grown up in. At once, I felt the tranquility of childhood. I felt perfect peace. You were with me, baby, in my childhood home, only that it felt so real and so natural.

We were looking for a big house to live in. We went to check out a few houses in the neighborhood. All the houses have 7 bedrooms. They were all beautiful to look at. Most importantly, we were happy together. There was total peace in my heart, and yours. So why did you tell me you do not feel at peace, baby? My dream does not lie to me....

When I woke up, I wiped away the tears from my eyes. It was such a beautiful dream. I wish I didn't have to wake up.

Since I was a little girl, dreams find me easily at night. They all give me a special message - and hope. I believe in my dreams. I believe the stars above convey special messages to me through dreams. That's why I'm here in New York City, the place I dreamed of long ago. I dreamed of coming to the US to pursue further studies. I dreamed of being a journalist in Manhattan. And now, my dreams have all become reality.

Without dreams, I won't be here. I won't be real.

At night, when I sleep, I connect with the stars above. Because they know my dreams and give me hope.